Kungfucaveman

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56 notes &

In what must have been a mean joke on all his followers, Bendoeslife mentioned me on his blog yesterday.  As a result, I have a couple of new followers. No - literally- 2. last night I had 6 new followers and today it’s back down to 2. The other 4 must have actually read my blog. 

At any rate, most people like to do a lengthy Hello/About me type post when their number of followers swells. Instead, I’m going to tell you a little about the other people Ben mentioned. To be fair, I’ll only talk about the ones I have met personally or exchanged private communication with. 

So, to begin:

1) Thisfearlesslife, aka fattofast, aka Anna banana

- she has blonde hair and likes pancakes - all things you could find out for yourself by reading her blog. What you WON’T discover, though, is that she is an exhibitionist. She’s always pulling down her pants. AND, she has a weird accent. I think she’s originally from Mexico. So, the question then becomes: Is she even here legally? Nobody knows (although with this year’s birthday she’s finally ‘legal’)

2) lifedoesjed, aka Ben’s brother

-he’s an Ironman. But what you may not know is I totally smoked him once in a half marathon. Ran by him like he was standing still, hugging his wife and kids. Which, he actually was- but that’s not important. What is important is that he’s a football coach. This means he only has time to post things during a brief window of time- like between 3 - 3:15pm on New Years Eve. But even if you don’t see him posting, he’s still there. Waiting. Biding his time. Kind of like herpes. 

3 &amp; 4) x-opher, aka Crandall, aka Chris 
          AND
Mr-Smit, aka Jizzmitt, aka Smitty, aka Justine. 


These guys are gay lovers, living together in Kentucky. They have lost a lot of weight between them. Something else that’s between them is secrets. See, x-opher recently started having feelings about WOMEN. He was curious. So, to find out more, he has been telling Smitty he is going to crossfit, while, in reality, he has been trying to find out about these strange new feelings. What better place to go to explore these hetero yearnings than the country whose national animal is…. You guessed it - the beaver. So, NOW, X-opher is engaged to a Canadian and Smitty is heartbroken. Reading their blogs is like watching the day time soaps. So good. So messy. 

5) KungFuCaveman, aka Me - 
unfortunately, we’re out of time for today
Y’all come back, now, ya hear?

In what must have been a mean joke on all his followers, Bendoeslife mentioned me on his blog yesterday. As a result, I have a couple of new followers. No - literally- 2. last night I had 6 new followers and today it’s back down to 2. The other 4 must have actually read my blog.

At any rate, most people like to do a lengthy Hello/About me type post when their number of followers swells. Instead, I’m going to tell you a little about the other people Ben mentioned. To be fair, I’ll only talk about the ones I have met personally or exchanged private communication with.

So, to begin:

1) Thisfearlesslife, aka fattofast, aka Anna banana

- she has blonde hair and likes pancakes - all things you could find out for yourself by reading her blog. What you WON’T discover, though, is that she is an exhibitionist. She’s always pulling down her pants. AND, she has a weird accent. I think she’s originally from Mexico. So, the question then becomes: Is she even here legally? Nobody knows (although with this year’s birthday she’s finally ‘legal’)

2) lifedoesjed, aka Ben’s brother

-he’s an Ironman. But what you may not know is I totally smoked him once in a half marathon. Ran by him like he was standing still, hugging his wife and kids. Which, he actually was- but that’s not important. What is important is that he’s a football coach. This means he only has time to post things during a brief window of time- like between 3 - 3:15pm on New Years Eve. But even if you don’t see him posting, he’s still there. Waiting. Biding his time. Kind of like herpes.

3 & 4) x-opher, aka Crandall, aka Chris
AND
Mr-Smit, aka Jizzmitt, aka Smitty, aka Justine.


These guys are gay lovers, living together in Kentucky. They have lost a lot of weight between them. Something else that’s between them is secrets. See, x-opher recently started having feelings about WOMEN. He was curious. So, to find out more, he has been telling Smitty he is going to crossfit, while, in reality, he has been trying to find out about these strange new feelings. What better place to go to explore these hetero yearnings than the country whose national animal is…. You guessed it - the beaver. So, NOW, X-opher is engaged to a Canadian and Smitty is heartbroken. Reading their blogs is like watching the day time soaps. So good. So messy.

5) KungFuCaveman, aka Me -
unfortunately, we’re out of time for today
Y’all come back, now, ya hear?

Filed under thisfearlesslife x-opher Mr-Smit lifedoesjed bendoeslife

  1. jessicamaynard said: <3 This made my day.
  2. thisfearlesslife said: I’m REEEEALLY glad you didn’t think about taking any pictures when I was exhibitioning in Arkansas…
  3. lifewithkim said: Haha!
  4. cantstopcristin said: Hilarious! Who would ever leave your blog?
  5. chrisbiketri said: You win…best post of the week…wait…month…possibly the year!
  6. engineering-fitness said: Just spit water on my keyboard. Love it.
  7. run-doozer-run said: You’re awesome :)
  8. mr-smit said: I really hope someone believes this is true.
  9. becky-balances said: I laughed out loud. Well played, sir.
  10. melanietris said: All you needed to put under your name is “I like boobies.” (And you’re wife is gonna kill you for that picture of her.)