Kungfucaveman

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35 notes &

My wife texted me a little while ago to tell me how awesome her trainer is. &#8220;She had me doing things that I&#8217;ve never even seen and I am totally wiped out now!&#8221;, she gleefully said. 

Then she started obsessing/complaining about her &#8220;little pooch&#8221;. Now, seriously, the woman has a six pack. But she has a small bump of extra skin under her belly button. Kind of like what you would see on any girl/woman. But she never used to have it. So she complains. 

Instead of arguing with her, or even validating her, I sent her the above pic of her pregnant with our youngest back in 2010. &#8220;You look amazing&#8221;, I said. 

Her only response so far has been, &#8220;Holy crap.&#8221;

It&#8217;s all about perspective&#8230;&#8230;

My wife texted me a little while ago to tell me how awesome her trainer is. “She had me doing things that I’ve never even seen and I am totally wiped out now!”, she gleefully said.

Then she started obsessing/complaining about her “little pooch”. Now, seriously, the woman has a six pack. But she has a small bump of extra skin under her belly button. Kind of like what you would see on any girl/woman. But she never used to have it. So she complains.

Instead of arguing with her, or even validating her, I sent her the above pic of her pregnant with our youngest back in 2010. “You look amazing”, I said.

Her only response so far has been, “Holy crap.”

It’s all about perspective……

45 notes &

My wife and I went to the gym tonight and then straight to dinner in our workout clothes. 
Interesting fact: the lighting in Saltgrass Steakhouse makes pink Fila tech shirts semi sheer in areas where the shirt is stretched tight. 
My wife was horrified. I was mesmerized. My wife actually used the phrase: “My eyes are up here”, at one point in our conversation. 
She wanted to jet. I didn’t - we had already ordered our food. We stayed, but my wife wore her big cloth napkin as a bib. Total buzzkill. 

The picture above was taken riiiight before I asked her if it was too cold in the restaurant for her.

My wife and I went to the gym tonight and then straight to dinner in our workout clothes.
Interesting fact: the lighting in Saltgrass Steakhouse makes pink Fila tech shirts semi sheer in areas where the shirt is stretched tight.
My wife was horrified. I was mesmerized. My wife actually used the phrase: “My eyes are up here”, at one point in our conversation.
She wanted to jet. I didn’t - we had already ordered our food. We stayed, but my wife wore her big cloth napkin as a bib. Total buzzkill.

The picture above was taken riiiight before I asked her if it was too cold in the restaurant for her.

32 notes &

In my wife&#8217;s continuing quest to whip me into shape, she dug out this contraption. I bought it for her over a decade ago. She swears by it. 
So, last night, I mounted up and started working the old abs. 

Let me tell you, for a gimmicky workout device I bought off of an infomercial years ago, it really kicked my butt. 

My stomach is so sore today, it hurts to breathe.  
This better help make my core as strong as steel. The old weightlifter in me is embarrassed I&#8217;m actually using what I used to refer to as a &#8220;toy.&#8221; But, whatever works, right?

If she busts out a thigh master, though, I&#8217;m out. I have to draw the line somewhere. 
She asked me last night what I wanted to watch on the dvr and without thinking, I said, &#8220;We can watch your Bachelorette show if you want.&#8221; I swear, I immediately felt my testicles shrink a little bit. I think my voice is a little higher, too. 

*sigh*

The things we do for love&#8230;.

In my wife’s continuing quest to whip me into shape, she dug out this contraption. I bought it for her over a decade ago. She swears by it.
So, last night, I mounted up and started working the old abs.

Let me tell you, for a gimmicky workout device I bought off of an infomercial years ago, it really kicked my butt.

My stomach is so sore today, it hurts to breathe.
This better help make my core as strong as steel. The old weightlifter in me is embarrassed I’m actually using what I used to refer to as a “toy.” But, whatever works, right?

If she busts out a thigh master, though, I’m out. I have to draw the line somewhere.
She asked me last night what I wanted to watch on the dvr and without thinking, I said, “We can watch your Bachelorette show if you want.” I swear, I immediately felt my testicles shrink a little bit. I think my voice is a little higher, too.

*sigh*

The things we do for love….

47 notes &

There are a lot of things that nobody ever tells you about losing weight. Sure, a lot of them are no brainers: increased energy, better sleep, renewed confidence, etc. 
Well, here’s one I didn’t know and never thought about&#160;: Increased libido. 
Now, don’t get me wrong, even when I was almost 300 lbs, I was still always (as my eloquent college roommate used to say) “down to pound.” I never noticed a decrease in libido. 
But now that I’ve lost weight, I definitely have noticed an increase. It’s frightening, really. My wife has started wearing baggy clothes and hiding the panty adds in the newspaper just to remove all stimulus that might elicit a poorly timed reaction. 
Nobody ever told me that this would happen. I’m actually scared of what might happen when I hit my goal weight. Will there be sudden acne breakouts? Will I start saying “dude” and “sweet” all the time? Am I going to suddenly have the urge to start wearing Hollister and hang out at the mall? 
Stay tuned, true believers. Only time will tell. 

On a non weight loss related point, do you know what is a huge boner killer? Kids. 
Don’t have kids….

This has been an old man sex post. You’re welcome.

There are a lot of things that nobody ever tells you about losing weight. Sure, a lot of them are no brainers: increased energy, better sleep, renewed confidence, etc.
Well, here’s one I didn’t know and never thought about : Increased libido.
Now, don’t get me wrong, even when I was almost 300 lbs, I was still always (as my eloquent college roommate used to say) “down to pound.” I never noticed a decrease in libido.
But now that I’ve lost weight, I definitely have noticed an increase. It’s frightening, really. My wife has started wearing baggy clothes and hiding the panty adds in the newspaper just to remove all stimulus that might elicit a poorly timed reaction.
Nobody ever told me that this would happen. I’m actually scared of what might happen when I hit my goal weight. Will there be sudden acne breakouts? Will I start saying “dude” and “sweet” all the time? Am I going to suddenly have the urge to start wearing Hollister and hang out at the mall?
Stay tuned, true believers. Only time will tell.

On a non weight loss related point, do you know what is a huge boner killer? Kids.
Don’t have kids….

This has been an old man sex post. You’re welcome.

42 notes &

Holy missing blogs, Batman!

Tridad - deactivated
Thereluctantrunner - deactivated
Runwithrach - deactivated

And a handful of some of my other long time faves. Hmmmm - coincidentally all people I have met IRL….

Who’s next? Brooksy? Shortmom? Moxy?

I get it - people move on to other phases of their lives. They outgrow their initial reason for blogging and end up feeling like they have nothing to post anymore. Or they just don’t have the time or the desire to blog anymore. I get it.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it….

Edit: And don’t think I don’t see you flirting with the idea of scrapping it all, Michaeldoeslife. Mr-smit. X-opher. Don’t do it. Don’t quit. It’ll make me angry. And you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry….

47 notes &

Last week: A review….

My wife turned 42 yesterday. I have kind of made it a tradition to turn her birthday into a week long celebration leading up to the big day.

I did a lot of cooking over the week. I made her filets one night. Homemade cheeseburger soup another. I sent her out of town with some of her friends this weekend to go to some lady conference. She didn’t get back until around 7pm on her birthday, so I didn’t have to prepare anything but a birthday cake that day. She asked for white cake with chocolate frosting. Next time, I’ll use a box mix. Making it from scratch sucked. I always overdo things. But, it was delicious. 4 layer white cake with buttercream chocolate icing and a white chocolate raspberry cream cheese icing for the filling.

I think the kids were more excited that it was her birthday than she was. They are at an awesome age.

I bought her massages, lotions, etc - all the typical chick gifts.
Also got her a trainer for a couple of months. I don’t know why- but it’s what she wanted. (She doesn’t need it)
Bought a bunch of hair curling/heated torture devices and makeup spackling thingies, too.
Best of all, she got a little .32 snubbie revolver. Why best of all? Because I’ll get to shoot it.

But, it’s not about material things. They don’t matter. They are just a poor attempt to show my affection and love for her in a tangible, material way. In the end, gifts are unimportant. It’s about showing her how much she means to me. That’s why I always make it a week long celebration. Because I’m just that happy and thankful she is in my life. And if the day she was born isn’t worth celebrating, I don’t know what is.

I think we were discussing why she loves me in the last picture. Either that, or we were talking about getting a Footlong subway sandwich.

All in all, a fantastic week