Every now and then, I’ll review something on this blog. Movies, books, whatever. If I say it’s good, then that’s money in the bank. Because I have excellent taste.
Today, I’m going to recommend a flashlight.
It’s the Maglite™. Not the wimpy little one, but the big one like the cops carry. You know, the one the size of a Pringles can.
They are super durable and can take a lot of punishment.
Example: A person in my OR just had one surgically removed. They had shoved it into their butthole. Yesterday. Until it disappeared.
And you know what? Once it was out, that Maglite™ still worked like a charm. That’s durability. Because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t designed for that.
So, if you want a flashlight, I recommend getting a Maglite™.
If you want a recommendation for something to do butt stuff with, I’m afraid I can’t help you. This isn’t that kind of blog.
Maybe you can try looking at Bendoeslife for that.
Summertime is almost here. I can practically smell the suntan lotion and chlorine.
When I was young and dumb, I used to play a game every summer called “Let’s see how dark I can get”. Now that I’m 40, I play a different game each summer called “Uhhhhh, honey? Does this mole look weird to you?”, aka: “Freckle or Cancer?”
Getting old suuuuuuucks….
Over the weekend, someone made their way into the recovery room’s lounge, dropped trou, and pooped in the refrigerator.
I’m going to let that sink in for a minute…
That’s some serious anger, right there. I mean, there have been a slew of employees “let go” from there in the last year, and most of the OR staff refer to the recovery room or PACU (post anesthesia care unit) nurses as “those bitches”, but still….
The PACU nurses are very upset. And I’m trying hard to be sympathetic. But it’s hard - so very hard.
Someone was so disgruntled, they decided the best way to express their feelings was to take a giant, grodie poop in the refrigerator.
Luckily, I use the fridge in the anesthesia lounge….
As disgusting, dirty, unhealthy, and awful as it is, it still makes me grin and shake my head.
I watched wrestling ALL the time when I was a kid. That was in the 80s. The days of Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Macho Man Randy Savage, The Junkyard Dog, The ultimate Warrior, Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, The road Warriors, Koko B Ware, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, George The Animal Steele, etc, etc.
Maybe that’s why I found this brief article so fascinating….
My irish setter is going through a weird phase. His head is full sized, but his body hasn’t caught up yet. He’s a boulder head. I keep waiting for him to fall over from the weight of his head. He’s a bean pole, too.
I guess freaky growth abounds in my household. My kindergartner looks like a freaking third grader, he’s so tall. I’ve caught him flexing in the mirror a few times. When he does it, he says, “OH YEAH!” in his best Macho Man Randy Savage voice.
He also told me that when I’m dead, he’s going to marry mommy. It MIGHT have been mildly cute in the classic, innocent, Oedipal little kid sense, if he hadn’t said it completely stone faced and serious.
Like I’ve said before, little kids are creepy.
My wife called me yesterday while I was at work. She sounded pretty excited about something. “Have I got something to show you, when you get home! It’s a surprise that will make you happy”, she said.
I wondered what had gotten her so worked up. A new bikini, maybe? She’s been hitting the gym HARD for the last 6 months - the last time she was that fierce, she ended up with a 6 pack. So, maybe it is a new bikini, I thought.
I started to get excited.
“Maybe I’ll get home from work, and she’ll be walking around the house in it already”, I thought, happily.
I sped home when work was over and rushed into the house, full of curiosity and excitement at what my wife was going to show me.
It turned out to be a CVS receipt. After coupons and whatever, she only paid 49 cents for a gallon of milk. “Look at that!”, she said, proudly jabbing her finger at the receipt, “I kick ass!”
Pink and blue. Women and men. Different things excite us
Worst surprise ever……
I’ve decided to lay off of biking and swimming and what not for a few weeks and just lift weights.
The idea of squatting instead of swimming today makes me almost giddy….
According to my “schedule” I should be doing a short brick workout this afternoon. But, I’m not going to.
Instead, I’m thinking about eating a cheeseburger that has doughnuts for a bun. Followed by a couple of hours of talking to my belly.
*Whispering to my stomach* “I’m sorry, belly. I know I haven’t been feeding you the things you like. The truth is, I’ve been slowly trying to kill you for a while now. I know you don’t understand, but I promise you will always be a part of me….shhhhh. Shhhhhh…. Quiet, now. Shhhhhh - Eat your burger….”