Nikki went to visit her mom for the weekend. Since I have this week off (Hello, home repair vacation!), she decided not to come home until tonight.
“Oh, and by the way, the boys both have a dentist appt Monday. Ok? Thanks!” WTF - I hate the dentist.

The two year old has been trembling in fear- just waiting for the door to hell to open and rip him from my leg, where he was attached. The 5 yr old, looked around the lobby and said, “I can’t understand what any of these kids are saying. Or the tv”
Me: “That’s because they are speaking Spanish. It’s another language”
5 yr old: “I know Spanish. Gato. Gatohhhhhhh. Gahhhhhto.”
The door eventually opened, causing the 2 yet old to gasp. I told them both to sack up, and sent them to what awaits.

I haven’t heard any screaming coming from the back yet, so I guess they are doing ok.
I promised a comic book to the 5 yr old and a dune buggy to the 2 yr old if they don’t freak out during the X-rays, cleaning, etc

Maybe someone here in the lobby can teach me how to say “just kidding” in Spanish.

The problem with marrying someone intelligent is that there is always a risk that they will use their intellect for evil, instead of good.
My wife just texted me this pic with the caption “compromise achieved”

I should have had somebody like Ross look over my proposal/demands for “shirtless summer” before I presented them to her.
It’s my own fault. I got greedy when choosing a mate. I grabbed for the “beautiful and smart” ring instead of playing it smart and reaching for the “pretty & can almost tie own shoes” option.
And now…. I pay the price..

I was interviewing an older man for surgery this morning, and his wife kept interrupting to answer for him.
At one point, I asked when was the last time he had ate or drank anything.

Him: “10 o’clock last night”

His wife: “NOOOO, IT WAS 9:45!!”

I glanced up at the old timer and our gazes locked. And I swear, his eyes were begging me for help.

And I wondered: how many decades has this gone on? What if he had put a stop to it years ago? Stuck up for himself? Even if it was something as simple as letting her know how hurtful her actions were.

Well, seeing that today has moved me to make up my mind about something. It’s time to talk to my wife.
It’s time to stop cowering in fear. It’s time to step up and let her know that I won’t be swayed. I won’t be deterred. I won’t be dismissed. And that she needs to listen - really listen to what I have to say.

That’s right - it’s time to try and institute shirtless summer in my house again.
I’m pliable, though. I’m willing to settle for something like a ‘bra free Monday’ or a ‘no panties Friday’.

Because I’m a giver. And I’m willing to compromise

This picture is from the paper.
Here in Amarillo, our community college is FULL service. Even the instructors get a feeling of satisfaction when they are done with a class…..

I was talking with the nurse in my OR today, and I couldn’t remember the weight amounts I lifted with this morning when she asked (that’s why I write that crap down). So began the “old man” and “memory loss” jokes. I eventually made everyone feel really bad about it, because I am a master at engendering feelings of guilt and pity in others (Thank God, or I would still be a virgin). Anyway, the teasing stopped.

Later in the day, I lost my glasses. I looked everywhere, enlisted lots of help - all with no luck. I was irritated.

Later still, the nurse said she wanted to take my picture so she could label my phone number in her contact list. Whatever. Knock yourself out.
3 min later, she texted me the above pic….

In my defense, everyone can suck it

I still have a couple of weeks before I’m out of this boot. So, since I can’t run, I’ve been lifting (in addition to all the stretchy stuff my coach assigns me)
Today, I noticed a vein snaking across one of my biceps. Not “popping”, but definitely visible. As I was checking myself out, I looked over and noticed the X-ray tech in the room. She is a beautiful woman and VERY fit. As she moved the portable X-ray machine, what seemed like hundreds of ropy veins popped up from her shoulder down to her fingertips. Literally- her fingertips.
Since I’m friends with her, I commented that she was looking pretty pumped up.
She looked down at herself, then at my arms, and pointing to a giant vein on her arm said, “Broccoli”
And that was it
And now I know she saw me admiring and talking to my own arm. Meh….

I did the anesthesia for a little Chinese toddler this morning that spoke no English. He understood a few words.
As I was trying to talk to him, I noticed that my voice had taken on a fake Asian accent. Almost like my subconscious thought that if I said the words how he did, he would understand better. I realized I was doing it at the same time the kid did. He went from crying and yelling, to looking back at me with a “WTF?” expression on his face. “Sorry”, I said. And then I knocked him out.

But do I do this? Do I talk to people who don’t speak English well in a fake accent meant to facilitate communication? Lord, I hope not. Americans are considered douchey and condescending enough as it is by foreigners.

My review of Ironman 3:

I liked it

In other news, I still get really bored at work. Which leads me to take pictures of people I follow on tumblr and photoshop them into ridiculous situations.
Of course, SOME people post pics of themselves that I don’t have to do anything to for it to be considered….different.
The above picture is Boston approved….