Kungfucaveman

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34 notes &

Tales from the OR - #2…

Over the weekend, someone made their way into the recovery room’s lounge, dropped trou, and pooped in the refrigerator.

I’m going to let that sink in for a minute…

That’s some serious anger, right there. I mean, there have been a slew of employees “let go” from there in the last year, and most of the OR staff refer to the recovery room or PACU (post anesthesia care unit) nurses as “those bitches”, but still….

The PACU nurses are very upset. And I’m trying hard to be sympathetic. But it’s hard - so very hard.
As disgusting, dirty, unhealthy, and awful as it is, it still makes me grin and shake my head.

Someone was so disgruntled, they decided the best way to express their feelings was to take a giant, grodie poop in the refrigerator. Luckily, I use the fridge in the anesthesia lounge….

38 notes &

My irish setter is going through a weird phase. His head is full sized, but his body hasn&#8217;t caught up yet. He&#8217;s a boulder head. I keep waiting for him to fall over from the weight of his head. He&#8217;s a bean pole, too. 

I guess freaky growth abounds in my household. My kindergartner looks like a freaking third grader, he&#8217;s so tall. I&#8217;ve caught him flexing in the mirror a few times. When he does it, he says, &#8220;OH YEAH!&#8221; in his best Macho Man Randy Savage voice. 
He also told me that when I&#8217;m dead, he&#8217;s going to marry mommy. It MIGHT have been mildly cute in the classic, innocent, Oedipal little kid sense, if he hadn&#8217;t said it completely stone faced and serious. 
Like I&#8217;ve said before, little kids are creepy.

My irish setter is going through a weird phase. His head is full sized, but his body hasn’t caught up yet. He’s a boulder head. I keep waiting for him to fall over from the weight of his head. He’s a bean pole, too.

I guess freaky growth abounds in my household. My kindergartner looks like a freaking third grader, he’s so tall. I’ve caught him flexing in the mirror a few times. When he does it, he says, “OH YEAH!” in his best Macho Man Randy Savage voice.
He also told me that when I’m dead, he’s going to marry mommy. It MIGHT have been mildly cute in the classic, innocent, Oedipal little kid sense, if he hadn’t said it completely stone faced and serious.
Like I’ve said before, little kids are creepy.

59 notes &

My wife called me yesterday while I was at work. She sounded pretty excited about something. “Have I got something to show you, when you get home! It’s a surprise that will make you happy”, she said. 
I wondered what had gotten her so worked up. A new bikini, maybe? She’s been hitting the gym HARD for the last 6 months - the last time she was that fierce, she ended up with a 6 pack. So, maybe it is a new bikini, I thought. 
I started to get excited. 
“Maybe I’ll get home from work, and she’ll be walking around the house in it already”, I thought, happily. 

I sped home when work was over and rushed into the house, full of curiosity and excitement at what my wife was going to show me. 

It turned out to be a CVS receipt. After coupons and whatever, she only paid 49 cents for a gallon of milk. “Look at that!”, she said, proudly jabbing her finger at the receipt, “I kick ass!”

Pink and blue. Women and men. Different things excite us

Worst surprise ever……

My wife called me yesterday while I was at work. She sounded pretty excited about something. “Have I got something to show you, when you get home! It’s a surprise that will make you happy”, she said.
I wondered what had gotten her so worked up. A new bikini, maybe? She’s been hitting the gym HARD for the last 6 months - the last time she was that fierce, she ended up with a 6 pack. So, maybe it is a new bikini, I thought.
I started to get excited.
“Maybe I’ll get home from work, and she’ll be walking around the house in it already”, I thought, happily.

I sped home when work was over and rushed into the house, full of curiosity and excitement at what my wife was going to show me.

It turned out to be a CVS receipt. After coupons and whatever, she only paid 49 cents for a gallon of milk. “Look at that!”, she said, proudly jabbing her finger at the receipt, “I kick ass!”

Pink and blue. Women and men. Different things excite us

Worst surprise ever……

Filed under she was genuinely excited

35 notes &

I&#8217;ve decided to lay off of biking and swimming and what not for a few weeks and just lift weights. 

The idea of squatting instead of swimming today makes me almost giddy&#8230;.

I’ve decided to lay off of biking and swimming and what not for a few weeks and just lift weights.

The idea of squatting instead of swimming today makes me almost giddy….

32 notes &

I’m taking the week off

According to my “schedule” I should be doing a short brick workout this afternoon. But, I’m not going to.

Instead, I’m thinking about eating a cheeseburger that has doughnuts for a bun. Followed by a couple of hours of talking to my belly.

*Whispering to my stomach* “I’m sorry, belly. I know I haven’t been feeding you the things you like. The truth is, I’ve been slowly trying to kill you for a while now. I know you don’t understand, but I promise you will always be a part of me….shhhhh. Shhhhhh…. Quiet, now. Shhhhhh - Eat your burger….”

26 notes &

This was yesterday. Today is the same. I&#8217;m not going to complain about it, but today&#8217;s outdoor run is definitely cancelled. 

I love Colorado, but Colorado jobs are scarce. Utah has no jobs because every Mormon crna eventually migrates back there. 

I&#8217;m looking for a beautiful state to move to. Give me some suggestions&#8230;

This was yesterday. Today is the same. I’m not going to complain about it, but today’s outdoor run is definitely cancelled.

I love Colorado, but Colorado jobs are scarce. Utah has no jobs because every Mormon crna eventually migrates back there.

I’m looking for a beautiful state to move to. Give me some suggestions…